u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You made out with two different species that night
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
