saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
