Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
