If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
