Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
