WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
