I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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