Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
