well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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