Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
