I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He did a backflip because drugs
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
