whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
