Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
