Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
