Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
