Soap is not a condiment
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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