i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
