i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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