do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
