with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
