What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
