hell yes lets make some ravioli
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
being pregnant is like rehab
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
