he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
