Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
