Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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