Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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