Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
