Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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