i jhust puked up my retainher.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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