I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
