I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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