tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
So vagazzling was a success
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
