i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
