i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
