She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
