all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
