If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
