One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
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