Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
