butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Fuck appropriateness.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
