I never want to see another naked old woman again.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize