why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
