My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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