is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
