I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
