i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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