he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
