That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
