I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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