who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
