the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
