Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
It's Friday. Sex?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
