Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
