I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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