No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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