I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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