i don't like sucking hair
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
