She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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