We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
