That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
