But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
