He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
