Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
