is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
My vagina just recognized that song.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
